


if we let go

by CupofSonic



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Episode AU: s04e17-18 The End of Time, F/M, I promise, The Doctor Loves Rose Tyler, Time Lord Rose Tyler, no one actually dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:03:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CupofSonic/pseuds/CupofSonic
Summary: "Let me help." He pleaded, desperate to figure out what was wrong."You can't, Doctor. I-" she cut off and a tear tracked down her cheek. "Everything has its time and everything dies.""Not you."
Relationships: Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler, The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Rose Tyler
Comments: 12
Kudos: 72





	if we let go

**Author's Note:**

> End of Time Au where the Doctor is stuck in Pete's world. So Rose saves Wilf and goes to say her goodbyes before she regenerates.

The Doctor whistled to himself as he shut and locked the TARDIS. He'd finally managed to work out the kinks in the dematerialization circuit so they'd be able to leave this planet, now all he had to do was track down Rose and Jack and tell them the good news. Though he suspected that Jack might be a bit disappointed by the news considering all the partying (shagging) he'd been able to do in the few short days they'd been here. 

The pavement was slick and glossy from recent rain and the Doctor hoped that Rose had been smart enough to either bring an umbrella with her and gotten to the bar Jack had mentioned before it'd started coming down. 

A sharp, pain-filled gasp came from an alley to his left and he froze under a street lamp, peering into the darkness. There was someone standing there, small and hunched in on themselves, based on the silhouette. "Everything alright?" 

"Fine- I'm fine. Just had a bit much to drink." They said and the Doctor was completely taken back by the sound of their voice: lower that he'd expect with a thick south London accent. They almost sounded like Rose, if Rose tried to talk completely from her chest. 

"You sure?" He asked. "I'm a Doctor. I can help if you need it." He moved closer, shifting out of the light so he could see into the alley better. Without the street light directly above him wreaking havoc on his night vision, he could see a glimmer of blonde hair. 

They gave a sort of pained laugh and the Doctor didn’t understand why it sounded so full of irony. "Is that supposed to sound impressive?" 

The Doctor froze in place, eyes locked on the face that had just started to take form out of the darkness. "Rose?" He asked, confused and worried. Her clothes were nothing like the outfit she had been wearing when she left the TARDIS with Jack. And this Rose- she looked  _ different _ \- there was no other way to explain it. "Not my Rose." He amended. 

"Always your Rose." She corrected. "I'm just out of time." 

There was a double meaning there he didn't understand, but it didn't matter. She was Rose and she needed him, so he moved closer, pulling out the sonic to run a scan on her. Her hand grabbed his to stop him and he could feel how hot she was; burning against his skin in a way that was abnormal even with the natural differences in their base body temperatures. "Let me help." He pleaded, desperate to figure out what was wrong. 

"You can't, Doctor. I-" she cut off and a tear tracked down her cheek. "Everything has its time and everything dies." 

"Not you." He insisted, wondering where the hell his future self was. Why was she alone? Why wasn't he here, taking care of her?" 

Rose gave him a bitter smile that he instantly hated. "Even me." 

"Where am I? Why are you alone?" 

"What makes you think I'm alone?" 

The Doctor scoffed. "You're standing in an alley, dying from  _ something _ . If I were here I'd-" 

"But you are here, Doctor. You're right in front of me." 

"When did you get so bloody enigmatic?" 

Rose's smile faltered just a bit. "Few years ago. Not as easy as you always made it seem." 

So she'd been on her own for a while now. He was about to reply but she groaned in pain, doubling over and all his panic returned at once. He cursed under his breath and finally managed to take a scan with the sonic. "Radiation poisoning? How the hell have you got radiation poisoning? More to the point, how are you still up and walking around?" 

There was something else though; underneath all the toxic stuff killing her, a different kind of radiation that knocked the wind out of him. "Your artron levels-" 

"Are impossibly high. At least, for a human." She said breathlessly, holding her hands up. A golden shimmer moved under her skin from fingertips to wrists. 

It felt like the entire world had shifted on its axis. She wasn’t dying, at least not in the way he’d thought originally. She was regenerating. "That's-" 

"Impossible. I know." Rose leaned back against the wall, doing her best to stay upright; if she sat now, she may not be able to stand again. 

"Rose what happened?" He asked desperately. 

"I can't tell you, the timelines. Wasn't even supposed to talk to you." Rose panted, her face screwing up in pain momentarily before smoothing out again. "But I just... needed to see you again. Before I go. And this was the only time I could."

The Doctor didn't know what to say, he gaped down at her, desperate to find some way to change this, to spare Rose this pain. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't you dare!" Rose snapped, pushing off the wall and drawing herself up to her full height. "Don't you dare say you're sorry. None of this is your fault, you hear me? None of it!" 

"But-" 

"But nothing! I made the choices that brought me here of my own free will. Don't invalidate that by blaming yourself." Her expression softened suddenly and she reached up to cup his cheek. "You're going to have to forget this anyway, and I don't want my last memory of this face to be you blaming yourself for things you can't control." 

The Doctor grabbed the hand on his face and forced himself to hold still and not kiss her palm. "Right then. You should get back to the TARDIS, before things get too bad. The old girl should pull up the zero room for you to recover in. That'll help." He said, hoping to cram as much information about regeneration into this short time so she'd have as smooth of a change as possible. "It's going to hurt." 

"I know." She replied, smiling enough to break his hearts. 

The Doctor hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should tell her, if he could be brave. It wasn’t like he would remember, and Rose deserved to know... "You know I-" 

"Yeah, I know." She stretched up on her tiptoes and gave him the briefest kiss on his lips before pulling away. "And I feel the same. But I think I need to go now." 

She started walking away, towards a side street that led away from both her past self and his TARDIS before she paused. "Doctor? What's the most recent adventure we went on?" 

"Taking Margaret the Slitheen back home." He replied, "Why?" 

A blinding smile broke out across her face and for the first time since he'd spotted her she looked happy, truly, properly happy. "Nothing, it's just, I'll bet you're going to have a  _ fantastic _ year." 

*** 

Rose shrugged off her jacket when she got back to the TARDIS, tossing it onto the jump seat. She flipped a few switches to send her back into the vortex. 

There. She'd said goodbye to everyone she'd wanted to say goodbye to. And now she needed to let her regeneration happen. She stopped holding it back and looked at the glow shining out from her fingertips. 

There was so much more she'd wanted to do, so much she'd wanted to see. 

And she would. She wasn't dying. She'd still travel and get into trouble. 

_ But not like this _ , she remembered her first Doctor saying. 

She kept the memory of him firmly in the front of her mind, taking comfort in what he'd said during his own regeneration. All she had to do was let... go...


End file.
